Tour de Chemo stages 9-13

Well, we'll start with the good news first: My appetite has improved dramaticaly. Granted, it's nowhere near what it used to be, but at least I'm eating normal food on a semi-regular basis again. But it's probably not enough. I weighed myself the other day, and I was less than 165 pounds. I haven't been this light since I was nineteen! Yet, I still have a little bit of a gut going on! I mean, if I'm going to go through all of this pain and suffering, the least they could do would be to give me a flat stomach out of this whole ordeal.

Unfortunately, the back pain hasn't seemed to have improved too much, if at all. Spengin seven hours in a car yesterday did not help. I was really hurting yesterday when I got home from NYC, and could not deal with it. I was still in severe pain this morning, and had a hard time getting down the stairs this morning. I could not tolerate it, and I wondered how much more of this shit I could take.

I decided that at this point I would try anything, so I went to see an accupuncturist. Hell, matbe getting stuck with a bunch of needles would at least distract me from the pain. Tuns out this was a lot less painful than I thought it would be. Hopefully it will do something about my back. Seriously, this back pain is the worst. I could deal with the nausea and fatigue if every little movement didn't hurt, and I could rest in a comfortable position.

Tour de Chemo- Stage 8

Today's progress could best be summed up with two words: "sesame chicken". For the first time in almost a week I felt like eating real food. I was craving Chinese food, General Tso's chicken in particular. But with developing mouth sores, I decided to go for something a little bit milder. So I sent my dad on a mission to the Ming Moon. Eating half a portion was a major accomplishment, but the fact that I had a craving for a specific food item was even more important in the grand scheme of things.

I also managed to get a perscription for some muscle relaxers, which will hopefully help to cut down on some of the back pains I have been feeling these last few weeks. The back pain has been worse than the chemo effects, mainly because they have been keeping me from getting comfortable enough to get any real rest.

I'm feeling much more optimistic now than I was earlier in the week. When I felt like pure hell, a wave of pessimism came over me. But feeling better, as well as a few encouraging e-mails, have really improved my morale.

Tour de Chemo- Stages 3-7

Well, the good feelings of the first few days would not last. Sunday evening I began to hit the wall. I was at a barbecue, and even though I managed to eat a little bit, I could feel myself starting to fade. I went home, and basically was horizontal for a long time.

Monday was probably the worst day of them all. I probably set a personal record for the most amount of sleep in 24 hours. Plus, it was extremely hot and humid, making things very uncomfortable. I puked for the first time. And adding insult to injury, it was my birthday.

The next couple of days were better. Dehydration was a major enemy, and I had to make an effort to put fluids into my body. I also barely ate the previous day, so forcing calories into my system was another important task.

I've been trying to eat and drink, despite the feelings of uneasiness in my stomach. At least it's cooled down a bit, so I don't have the heat to worry about. Hopefully I start to feel better these next few days. Being confined to the couch and watching TV, especially on a nice day like today, is incredibly tough to take.

Tour de Chemo- Stage 2

Well, perhaps the lucky number 7 was what kept me from feeling sick. All day I was waiting to feel like hell, but it never happenned. Granted, I was tired, and spent most of the day on the couch. Good thingthere was about five hours of Tour de France coverage, which made being a couch potato a little bit easier to deal with. Of course, I wished I was riding my bike myself, instead of watching other people ride.

All things considered, it was not a bad day. I ddn't feel sick, managed to eat a decent amount, and was even able to enjoy the neighbor's fireworks display. Actualy, they outdid themselves this year. I have no idea how much they spent on fireworks this year, but the show this year was almost professional. A long way from bottle rockets and firecrackers.

Tour de Chemo- Stage 1 complete

Man, talk about a long assed day. Over fourteen hours from start to finish. It's amazing how exhausting sitting around can be.

I woke up around 8 AM, and showered. I tried to eat a bit of breakfast, but I wasn't hungry. Nerves were certainly on overdrive. I even felt a bit queasy. Great, if I was queasy in the morning, how the fuck would I feel when my body was pumped full of toxic chemicals? I managed to eat about a half bagel and some juice. Buy 9, we were in the car, en route to NYC. I tried to nap a bit in the car, and ate some Twizzlers on the Thruway. Red food, you know.

We crossed the GWB around 11:40, and had to make a critical decision- where to eat lunch. I still wasn't feeling all to hungry, and was mainly worried that anything I ate I would just end up puking back up later. I immediately decided that a plate of greasy meat and potatoes at the Dallas BBQ was out of the question. I decided on the Fibe Bistro, where I had a salad.

At 1:00, I checked into the hospital for my treatment. After waiting for over an hour, somebody told me that the were waiting on my bloodwork. The brilliant receptionist failed to mention that the vampires would be sucking blood, so that pretty much meant I wasted an entire hour watching CNN when I could have been receiving my medicine.

Around 3:00 I finally began my treatment. We were informed that it would be about a four hour process. Wonderful. I neglected to bring any reading material, and I didn't have my computer with me so I could watch a DVD. I sent Dad and Kira on a mission, and they returned with the latest from Chuck Klosterman. Kira also bought me a bobblehead turtle from a street vendor, which was to be my good luck mojo.

After an hour, I was feeling tired and took a nap. That was a great way to pass another hour. I kept waiting for the sickness to set in, but it never did. I even ate a little bit of Chex Mix during treatment, as well as some chocolate-raspberry cookies. Actually, I probably overindulged on the cookies, because I wasn't hungry for anything when we got out of the hospital.

We headed back upstate, and I was surprised to see so little traffic on the G-Dub and the Thruway for a Friday night in the summer. After about an hour, I was ready to eat, and we stopped in New Paltz to grab a bite at the diner. The diner had those jukeboxes in every booth, and it felt like we were in the final episode of the Sopranos. Unfortunately, they didn't have "Don't Stop Believin'", so we settled on Billy Joel instead. I ate a cup of soup and half of a corned beef sandwich.

After dinner, we drove through the town time forgot (New Paltz if full of hippies who have probably been there since they got left behind by their buddies at the original Woodstock festival), and headed home. By the time we got back, it was almost 11:30, and I was absolutely exhausted. But I didn't feel sick, which was good. took some anti-nausea meds just to be safe, and went to sleep.

Tour de Chemo- Stage 1

Today was long as hell. Left my house at 9 AM, got back 11:30 PM. I'm fucking beat. I'll post more tomorrow.

Tour de Chemo- Prologue

Well, tomorrow I begin my chemotherapy treatments, or the Tour de Chemo as I am referring to it as. I figure since it is July, the Tour de France would make a good metaphor. Plus, there is a possibility that I might actually be on EPO before this whole ordeal is finished. But today was the prologue- a few preliminary things before the real thing gets underway. Tonight, in preparation, I had to take seven anti-nausea pills. Good thing they weren't huge horse chokers or anyhting, but seven pills at a time is still a lot to swallow.

I went for a bike ride today. I did about seventeen miles on my road bike. I felt pretty good, all things considered. I mean, I've been hacking up shit for the last few days, and my lower back on my left side hurts, but other than that I had a great ride. Up until the final three miles, that is. You see, after a typically wet and cold Catskill Mountain 4th of July, I woke up today to blue skies and sunshine. I vowed that I would get a ride in today, no matter what. So around 3:30, I clicked into my pedals. I was even maintaining a decent pace, despite my lack of fitness. I was feeling great.

But halfway through the ride the blue skies turned to grey. No worries, I thought. It was a light greay, and the clouds didn't appear very ominous. Unfortunately, the direction I was heading was also the direction of some much darker clouds. I picked up the pace, hoping to make it home before getting caught in any weather. With Jim Morrison singing "Riders on the Storm" playing in my head, I pushed the biggest gear I could home. Unfortunately, I was about ten minutes late. Three miles from home, the rain started. nd it wasn't a drizzle, but rather a full on downpour. I pedaled with all of my energy those final miles, just wanting to get home and dry. I finally made it home, got into a hot shower, grabbed some space on the couch, and slept until the Simpsons came on.

I Want A New Drug

Two days ago I was in absolute fucking misery. My entire body ached. I could barely move. I was groaning constantly. At one point I even needed help from my father to get off of the couch. I didn't feel like eating. I decided that there was no way I could tolerate this amount of pain any longer, so on Saturday morning I had my mother take me to the emergency room.

It was the first weekend of the summer, and the road to Cooperstown was starting to get trafficked. As I sat in the passenger seat, I wished that I felt good enough to be riding Rte. 28 on my bike. Instead, I was in agony, the thought of hopping on my Giant was just a dream. All I wanted was to get to the hospital, and have the doctor do something to make me feel better. But the baseball pilgrims had travelled from all over America, and in the midst of all the memorabillia shops and chintzy restaurants along thr roadside seemed to miss the sign that said the speed limit was 55 M.P.H. Nothing like making a long, painful trip even longer.

Now I know my body pretty well, and know how to react to the signals it sends me. This sometimes can lead to problems with doctors, especially new doctors like the one you might encounter in an ER. I had a sneaking suspicion that being on narcotics for almost a month, and the associated constipation, were probably causing some of the discomfort. Based on where I was feeling pain, I was almost certain of it. Of course the doctors need to prove this, so they made me get X-rayed a bunch of times, which will probably render me sterile. And after they looked at my insides, they confirmed what I knew all along- that I was literally full of shit.

But there is also a reason that these people go through 8 years of higher education. They thought that this was not enough of a reason for me to be experiencing the severe pain levels that I was. I was doing Rush Limbaugh-like doses of oxycontin, yet my body still felt like Joe Frazier after Muhammed Ali was done with him. They wrote me a perscrition for Fenatyl, and told me to supplement it with Advil. They also had me take it as a transdermal patch. Since my worst pain was the first thing in the morning, when I was several hours overdue for my pills, perhaps a constant supply of drugs would relieve some of that wake-up pain.

Of course, getting the stuff was another ordeal. The first two pharmacies I went to were out of stock. I experienced te same thing last week trying to get the oxycontin perscription filled. We had the pharmacist call around until they could locate a store that had it in stock. I picked up a 30 day supply, and s soon as I got home I put on a patch.

By this time I was pretty tired. So I popped a few advils, lay down on the couch, and took a nap.

When I woke up after an hour, I could not believe the change. I wasn't completely free of pain, but it felt as if I went from having my arm falling off to having a sore shoulder. I could move without aching all over. And I felt like eating. My mom went out for a pizza, and I devoured a slice, along with a bowl of fruit. I hadn't felt this good in almost a week.

Today was even better. Not only did I manage to get a decent night's sleep, but I didn't wake up in total agony. I had a huge lunch of Thai food, and for the most part didn't ache. A friend who saw me on Friday said I was completely different today. I started really to hurt when I started the oxycontin. And now that I'm off the hillbilly heroin, I feel a lot better. My doctor probably should have realized that an anti-authoritarian, Bush-hating, pro-choice liberal like me wouldn't react well to Rush's drug of choice.