The waiting game.

In the early 70's, reggae legend Jimmy Clif wrote a song called "Sitting in Limbo" for the classic film "The Harder They Come." (Speaking of which, what ever happenned to the sequel- "The Harder They Fall", which Wyclef Jean was supposedly involved with?) Ever since my CT scan on thursday, I have been nervously awaiting the results, which I will recieve tomorrow. It is an extremely stressful situation, wondering what the tests will reveal. You spend a lot of time asking yourself questions, mainly, did the last treatment work? When the Interleukin II treatment didn't sucessfully send my cancer into remission, the storm clouds of doubt began to gather momentum in my head. It was a very difficult time to go through, and the light at the end of the tunnel began to fade away.

This, of course, is not the best attitude to have. But since every CT scan I have had since October 2005 has not exactly came back with great news, optimism is a hard mindset to achieve. Particulary when I have always been a sort of glass is half empty personality to begin with.

But at least I know one thing is for sure- no matter what I hear from my oncologist tomorrow, 7:45 Wednesday morning I will be on a flight to Seattle. For twlve days I will be in the Pacific Northwest, where, unlike Vermont, they have been getting absolutely pounded with snow. The Cascades and Coast Range of B.C. will give me either the ultimate reward or distraction- deep snow. Because once I'm at the top of a mountain, with over a foot of fresh snow beneath my skis, nothing else will matter.