I ran, I ran so far away...

First of all, yes, you can all comment about how lame I am for quoting the Flock of fucking Seagulls. But today I went on a run further than 100m and I didn't hurt. After a long day of geting poked and prodded (blood tests and a CT scan) a returned to Jan's place in Brooklyn a little stressed out. I don't know what was stressing me so much. Probably nothing related to the fact that the results of this scan will let me know if the experimental medicine I have been shooting up for the last two and a half months is kicking the cancer's ass or not. Anyway, I got back to Bushwick, put on my sneakers, started blasting Wolfmother on the iPod, and began to run. And run. And run some more. And not once did I get any shin splints or side stitches. And tha felt pretty damn good.

I suck

Well, today I comletely blew off training. Granted, it was supposed to be an easy day- a 3 mile run. I guess I didn't feel like running around for a half hour in Bushwick, Brooklyn after a huge burrito. Furthermore, I plan on drinking copius amounts of beer tonight. Good thing I brought my bike down here. I need to put in a few miles this weekend.

Why I didn't post the commentary I wanted to.

I was all set to post my opinion about certain recent events, but I decided against it. Why? Because I'm a paranoid motherfucker. The way certain things are these days, the last thing I want to do is start posting stuff with keywords that might alert some sort of government search engine. I mean, for the last five and a half years, our civil liberties have been eroded. I'm sure I'm already on some sort of list after getting busted at the 2004 Republican Convention, the last thing I need is to get on some sort of other list, get cross referenced, and the next thing you know there's a black van following me around. I mean, I live in upstate NY. My nearest neighbor is nearly a quarter mile away. If I see a carpet cleaning van parked across the street, it's going to look suspicious. And since out here in the sticks we only have dial-up, people can't download porn at the speed of light so they will end up talking about the van in front of my house. And they will figure out I'm being watched by some government agency, and talk about what I must be doing. I was always a bit of a renegade growing up, will they think I'm some sort of radical?

Anyway, I had some really good things to post, stuff that would make people think and discuss stuff. But the FBI's version of Google might flag me as someone suspicious. And really, I don't need that kind of aggrivation right now. The running aspect of this triathlon is aggrivation enough. Hasn't the triathlon world figured out that if you own a bike worth $7000, running is really stupid? I mean, even a mediocre cyclist can do 26 miles in 2 and a half hours, a time that all but the most elite runners would kill for. Did it ever occur to them that if they would just stay on the bike for the run phase they would get to the finish so much faster?

Transitions

If one word could summarize my life this week, it would be transitions. Webster's defines "transition" as: a passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another. Just about every aspect of my life is in transition these days.

First of all would be the transition from ski season. This past Sunday at Alta was my final day of skiing for the 2006-07 season. A season, which I am proud to say was injury free. After sufferring fractures the last two seasons, not spending any time in an emergency room this winter was a big relief. Besides, I spend enough time in hospitals as it is, I don't need to wind up there any more than I need to be.

The next transition would be leaving Vermont to return to New York full time. I'm back to living at home, and even though the surroundings are familiar, it doesn't quite seem comfortable. Hopefully I will make another transition in the next few weeks, from Upstate to NYC. It's been ten years since I first lived in the Big Apple, and I think I might be ready to return.

As loyal readers of this blog are well aware, in less than one month I will participate in a triathlon. The phase of the race between the swim and bike or bike and run are called transitions as well. Today I began training for this event, swimming, biking, and running in the same day. It was cold and raining today, and after ten miles on the bike my toes were completely numb. I planned to run as soon as I finished my ride, but my transition was slowed down by my desire to put on a pair of warm, dry socks. After a mile or so of running, I finally regained feeling in my toes.

Things are changing this week. Life as I have known it for the last five months is over. It is time to focus on new things. Skiing is no longer the focal point of my existance. Now there are a myriad of things of which I am concerned with. In addition to triathlon training, I am concerned with finishing my movie, and simply getting on with life in general. I have been kind of a hermit since December, now it's time to rejoin society (or at least rejoin society as much as it is possible for me). Although, to be honest, I'm not sure exactly where to begin my new life. I'm sure I will figure things out soon enough, but for now, to quote the title of a snowboarding DVD, I'm simply Lost in Transition.

The final(?) shots

This afternoon I recieved what will hopefully be my last cancer treatment. The final round of this experimental vaccine I am involved in a trial for was administered to me today at New York Presbyterian. And hopefully this is the knockout punch that we all have been hoping for.

For over a year now I have been living with the cloud of cancer over my head. It has been an experience, to say the least. But to be honest, the experience has not been entirely negative. I mean, other than the fact that I have fucking cancer, a lot of great things have happenned to me during the last year or so.

One thing about the last year is all of the amazing people who I have gotten to know. From the Upper East Side to West Virginia, from Lake Tahoe to Glacier, WA. The people I have had the priveledge to meet and become friends with the last couple of months has been amazing. It is a great feeling to know that there are a lot of people out tere who are not only pulling for you, but are also inspired by you. Especially when someone like Ingrid Backstrom tells you this.

Tomorrow the Kicking Cancer's Ass tour kicks off it's final leg, to Utah. I will return to Little Cottonwood Canyon, one of my favorite places on Earth. These will be my final ski days of the season. Upon my return I will start crash-training for a triathlon. Not a bad way to continue kicking cancer's ass.

But for now all I am thinking about is this final round of treatment. I really hope this one will work. My oncologist is very optimistic about this new drug. Considering this is someone who routinely has to tell people that they only have weeks left to live, this is a good sign. And all I can do is keep a positive attitude about this.

Moving On

Well, tonight is my last night in the house that I have called home for the last 4 1/2 months. It's hard to believe that I was here that long- the time really flew by. It seems like only last week I was unloading my quiver, cursing the warm weather and lack of snow. Now we have a lot of snow on the ground, and I am putting my skis into the Thule for he last time.

Next week I fly to Utah for five days, and after that the big question needs to be answered; "What's next?" I'll spend the next four weks training like a madman so I don't die in the triathlon I signed up for. I've really been slacking. Of course, I didn't think that March and April were going to bring lot's of snowstorms either. Based on early season weather, I figured I'd have a few hundred miles under the rubber by now. But my training has consisted of skiing hard every day. Beats sitting on the couch, but will it help me run 6.2miles?

In addition, I'll spend too many hours in front of my Avid cutting Normalcy. Hopefully that will finish up by the end of June, early July at the latest. But what do I do when I finish that?

One thing I am not looking forward to is moving back into my parents' house. To be honest, I never really liked living there. I'm considering moving back to NYC, but I'm not 100% sure if that's what I really want to do. The last time I lived in NY it didn't work out so well. Of course now I'm a lot older and wiser. And more importantly, I have a support system in plae that I didn't have in 1999.

So tonight I spend my last night in West Dover, VT. The next ten days will be chaotic- moves, hospital visits, plane flights. Not a lot of time for rest. I even skipped skiing today to rest up (I have a cold and didn't think driving 150 miles to play in a snowstorm was wise considering my upcoming schedule). I'll return from Utah with hours of videotape that must be chisled down to an entertaining, informative final product. I'll swim, bike, and run until I puke. But what will happen next??? Stay tuned...

Stuck Inside

Well, here it is outside- a warm, sunny spring day, and I'm stuck inside. I think all of the running around I've been doing these last couple of days has worn me down a bit, and now my sinuses are clogged up and I'm laid up with a cold. This sucks royally. Normally, I might ty and push myself, but I have a busy week and a half lined up ahead of me. They're pridicting a ton of snow tomorrow, and the last thing I want is to be laid up for another powder day. And I really can't be running around Utah at 8-10 thousand feet if I'm having a hard time breathing at a much lower elevation. So as I look out the window on this bluebird day, feeling guilty about watching "Beauty and the Geek" on MTV, I have to remind myself that one day off today will prevent a much longer stretch of downtime in the future.